Sorry for not being visible on my actually profile outside the BBS. If you were wondering where I am, it’s there mainly. I am working on art and collabs, summer fatigue has just gotten in the way.
But mainly another thing has been holding me back from really functioning at all. My OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), and I feel like you guys earned an explanation as to where I’ve been.
My OCD is just horrible, and it focuses on such a horrible thing that I’m not comfortable saying what it is out of anxiety. It’s also tied to an addiction I have, so every time that happens, the OCD thoughts race through and I have to sit through them until my brain calms down. I’ve had therapy for it and techniques to deal with it, but being an entirely mental concept makes it hard to deal with it mentally outside of just distracting myself with something.
That something is usually devices, which takes time away from whoever I could be talking too. Or from drawing at all and making progress on the projects I do have. That in turn feeds my anxiety, leading to the addiction and OCD thoughts coming out once again. I’m sick and tired of feeling like a monster with no redeemability, and I’m honestly not sure how to deal with it.
Sorry for that heavy and winded rant, especially if it got too personal at points. I just think it’s necessary to explain how I’m doing. Any well wishes would be nice, and I hope you can fight your inner demons too.
